On the Matter of Garth Brooks...

While attempting to decide what I was going to dress up as for Halloween this year, a friend commented that I should attempt to dress as Garth Brooks’ short lived alter ego Chris Gaines. Upon researching the idea, I realized that the costume would be relatively easy to pull off; however, I would run into the same issue that I encountered several years ago with my Criss Angel costume. A costume is only good if you don’t have to explain to people what it is, hence why Chris Gaines wouldn’t work. And then it hit me. Garth Brooks, Chris Gaines, Me, Criss Angel. The truth was right there in front of me:

Garth Brooks is Criss Angel.

I know this sounds outlandish to all of you, but once you start looking into the details, it all makes prefect sense. After the abject failure of Brooks’ short run as the Chris Gaines persona, he needed to come up with a new gimmick to try and fulfill his crazed obsession with trying to make people believe that he’s someone else. Let’s look at the timeline here.

August 10, 1967: Birth date of fictional Australian born musician Chris Gaines.
December 19, 1967: Birth date of (supposedly) real illusionist Criss Angel.
1999: Release of album “The Life and Times of Chris Gaines”
2001: Garth Brooks exits the public eye, citing a need to be with family.
2005: Criss Angel: Mindfreak premieres on A&E.
2008: Criss Angel: Believe premieres at the theatre at the Luxor Resort and Casino in Las Vegas.
2009: Garth Brooks comes out of retirement and reveals he will be performing weekends at Steve Wynn's Encore Hotel in Las Vegas.

Look at it, it all checks out, the two fake identities share the same year of birth, and the two have never been in the public eye at the same time. I mean, come on, Criss Angel’s official profession is listed as “Illusionist.” Perhaps Criss himself is the illusion. Also note that Criss Angel sings his own theme song. It would appear that even in disguise; Garth Brooks can’t help but keep singing. On top of that all, Google Maps estimates the travel time between The Luxor Hotel and Steve Wynn's Encore to be roughly 8 minutes. With an 8 minute travel time, compounded with his already clearly established illusionist skills, Brooks/Angel could quite easily pull off the illusion of being in both shows at the same time. So tell me, did I just blow your mind?

Coincidence? I think not.